love, not lust.

i want someone to hold.
i want someone to miss.
i want the feeling of another soul,
pressed against my lips,
and use the gift of nature,
that rests between our hips;
to build a strong foundation,
with no shakes, and no slips,
by bonding together our forces,
our powers that lie deap within,
to create and embrace a new begining,
that lives right beneath all our skin.
some say for us to feel guilty,
some say that this love is a sin;
and i feel sorry for their souls,
they haven't gone, where we've been.

my dreams.

my dreams,
are your eyes;
cloudy and light brown,
like the first signs of autumn,
staring me down
and seeing through.

my dreams,
are every freckle of your skin;
numbered and scattered,
like deserted leaves of winter.
a sign both of the end,
and a new.

my dreams,
are your hands;
hopeful and wanting,
like the first day of spring,
reaching out with anticitpation
and construed

my dreams,
are every beating of your heart;
restless and anxious.
like the shortened days of summer,
apreciated, cherished,
and pursued

my dreams,
are every breath and every touch;
meaningful and alive,
like everyday of the year.
taken for granted,
and of you.

on your own.

what was it that you saw?
tell me, what was it that you heard?
i ask you, what did you say,
you tell me you just aint sure
i'm giving you diseases
but you're not finding any cures
try looking to your heart for a change

so who was it that you found
when you went looking for a hero?
did you find what you needed
or, are you still coming up with zero?
you're reaching up so high
but man, those stairs are much too narrow
try looking to the sky for a change

so when you're feeling lonesome
or, when you're feeling scared
when you're biting at your nails
and pulling at your hair
who is call when your falling down those stairs?
try calling up me for a change

well you say you looked into your heart
and you found it was too weak
and you looked into the sky
but it's been raining here for weeks
so now you call me up,
but i'm not home, now you cant sleep
i guess you'll have to find your own way for a change

re-write.

i'm tired of making no sense
i need to find something with meaning
like back when i had answers
we thought that we knew everything

and this new world has me wondering
cause' it's got no defintion
i miss our world from long ago
the one i never had to question

and i dont know if im just looking for comfort
if i want my emotions to just read "content"
or maybe, this time, i just mean it
and this journey was just time well spent

but then again, we must remember, i'm crazy
who knows how i'll feel, or will act
and then, again, we must remember, our history
i can't hurt you again, not like that

so how do i know up from down?
and how do i ask, when you're not around?
all i can hear is the repeat of the sound
of that kiss of reassurance, before it all falls down

drop-in.

one man sleeps on the couch
while next to him, a girl sits on boy's lap
and anothers' making coffee
and they go off to do laundry
in the corner where she dreams
of clean towels
and fabric softener

and while you're off taking a shower
a boy sinks his battleship
and a punk girl reads the paper
with music in the background

he put's his feet up on the table
she woke him up before she
left to go make food
and now the man on the couch
dreams of speggetti
and garlic rolls

there's hairspray in her backpack
and soap up in a basket
pickles in their caskets
the vinegar is blood

pastries on the counter
no mugs to get their coffee
blank screen on the tv

she wakes him up again
tells him to go for a walk
"maybe it will wake you up"
but the man on the couch stays
taps his feet, and shuts his eyes

i think i may know this song

at least i tried.

i tried mapping out all of the sounds in this town
i tried to find the answers left unheard
but nowone had anything to say
their faces went blank and formed into a herd

the world is dead
there's nobody left
except for myself
and the friends in my head

i guess the world went crazy
but that's already been said
i just dont know if it's all in my head

i tried to blend in, careful not to make noise
i tried to find someone else, just like me
but i saw nothing in their eyes
just pale clouds and pure nothing, how could they see?

the world is dead
there's nobody left
except for myself
and the friends in my head

i guess the world went blind
but that's already been said
i just dont know if it's all in my head

i tried to calm down, shut my eyes for a while
i tried to grasp it all tightly, once last time
but it all slipped away, leaving the colors
and now my worlds' painted in black and white

boulder.

i walk with a boulder
that's tied to my back
a boulder of burden
a burden of hate
if i could release it
i'd make it home faster
but it's just not that easy
or, maybe i'm weak
my concience controls me
the empathy pulls me
the people, they tell me
get used to the hurt
you'll get over it someday
and be just like us
but i'm not them
and the pressure wont work
so i put down my boulder
let go of their actions
and i'll smile. when
they pass on the street
cause' hate is a burden
one i dont want to carry
i'll move on with
the next person i meet

bloody hell.

choking on the glass
from the bottom of a bottle
or the bullet from the barrelof a .45
might as well off yourself now, lad
shoot yourself right in the eye

sitting on a bench
in a park by a fountain
or sitting in the back
of a troubled bus
there's not use speaking your mind, lad
they'll never listen to us

we were the wishes
from the bottom of their hearts
the screams of their souls
apple of their eyes
looks like the apples' gone rotten, lad
so we'll just sit back and cry

everything.

while trying to bring it all back together
we lost some pieces along the way
should we go out and buy new one
and start over, or throw it away?
maybe we can just re-make the pieces, you say
no, i'm not taking the easy way out this time
not today

---

time passes like a ship sailing across the sea
stopping at the turnstile, waiting for you and me
should we move on and keep going?
they tell me to just "wait it out"
well, i tried that, i waited
all it got me was hatred
and the anger burned holes in my brain
i take the pain
let's just go

---

i've been trying to keep myself together for a year
i went throught the running, the screaming, the tears
this isnt giving up, it's letting go
i'm ready for the show
this time i'll listen

---

that light in my eye, casted a shadow between us
and the fear of the burning, destroyed all my trust
so even with me lighting the way, i cant see
nor, fill that great hole that is empty in me

---

re-emburse me now, for all that wasted paint
and that burden of sorrow, that made me grow faint
i know you cant, but if you could, you'd be a saint
and i know you would, but your heart is too daint

---

the knowledge of the math, of the splitting of the two, is gone
but the damage is done, so i'm left with just one
that pentiful sinner we know as "the son"
and he's lost now, so what have we won?

---

why is it always about winning
and putting things in their place?
why must i walk past the dying
and keep a smile on my face?
well, "hope' is the son of "abuse"
they feed you it to keep you confused

---

keep your keys in the bowl
and your teeth in a jar
your lies in your head
and your home at the bar

---

after all that is done, this is what you get
an addiction to time, and cheap cigarettes
and the memories of all of the people you've met
you're alone now, and that's all that's left

wait.

if it rains tonight
will you wait for then sun?
will you come with mewhen the time comes
to run away
into the light?
you've waited for so many nights

run, run, run, run
follow the sun
run, run, run, run
follow the sun

and if i follow through
and promise to stay
will you wait for me
while you're away?
do what you need
just come to me soon
i'll be here waiting for you

run, run, run, run
follow the sun
run, run, run, run
follow the sun